bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
