There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
