Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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