we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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