I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
