dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
