his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
