I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
