I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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