It's Friday. Sex?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
