I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
