maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
