I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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