Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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