You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
