I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
