Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
