my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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