Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
