I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
