Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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