Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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