I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
