dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
