My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
