He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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