Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Acid is not a monday night drug
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again