you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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