Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He kissed a someone with a penis
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
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A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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