you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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