then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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