I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
