what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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