ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize