Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize