the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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