Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
where are you?
Hypothermia
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
