Quick, to the slutcave!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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