I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
