Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
