so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
