You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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