My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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