I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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