I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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