I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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