Pants 0. Shit 1.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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