dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
