I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
