Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize