Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
well you can't waste a boner
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
