im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
