Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
