Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She's allergic to latex.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod