What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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