I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
