Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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